HAZE NEEDS YOU
PRESTON PARK, BRIGHTON
SAT 27th MAY & SAT 3rd JUNE
If you would like to arrange an interview with Doktor Haze please contact Asia on the below information.
Tel: 073804 03268
A Monster Manifesto or Improper gander?
So below is a little about me and my beliefs, I don’t think for a minute that I will get enough votes to become a member of Parliament but nor did I think Brexit would happen or that Donald Trump would become President of the United States, We live in a crazy world that could get crazier.
What I hate about political parties is the broken promises, the quotes in manifestos claiming ‘when we get elected we will do – whatever’. Of course this is a false claim as it is unlikely that anyone other than the Tories will win.
In that case, I intend to give you my views & what I would campaign for should I get elected, rather than promises or policies that I cannot possibly keep.
A little bit about Doktor Haze.
I am Doktor Haze, most of you may know me more for my exploits with The Circus of Horrors, either on stuff like Britain s Got Talent or various other TV shows or performing live in numerous Brighton venues throughout the years.
I come from very humble beginnings, born in a circus, abandoned by my dad & left with my mum & our dog in a van in Wick, Scotland when I was 6 months old.
Reunited with my Dad and taught to fire eat in a circus ring at the age of 12. Leaving the circus to try and earn a living in a rock band before combining my theatrical upbringing with rock music & my other passion Horror to create the Circus of Horrors.
So why stand in Brighton.
I travel all over the World with the Circus of Horrors but when the snap election was announced I realized I would be in Brighton during the election run in. Brighton has a lot of fond memories for me, it was the first City ‘The Circus of Horrors performed commercially back in 1995. We have been to the city many times since and aside from London ‘The Circus of Horrors have performed more in Brighton than anywhere else.
I also love the diversity of the city and the tolerance & understanding of other cultures & communities within Brighton, this is one of the issues that I will be campaigning for. It shouldn't matter what you look like, you should be accepted for what you are.
I have always been interested in politics, as a kid I campaigned for the Labour party & whilst doing so I met a Tory MP who was really nice so I changed allegiance. In the 1990’s I became good friends with Screaming Lord Sutch, leader of the Monster Raving Loony Party, he became a regular at The Circus of Horrors shows until his sad death. He always tried to persuade me to stand for Parliament and made me the Minster for Blood banks.
I have never been a member of any political party and I always declined his offer that is until now, when I decided to stand as an independent or as I would prefer to call it an Alternative candidate for the constituency of Brighton Kemptown.
So here are a few of my views
The NHS, affordable Housing & the Environment
All of these are huge topics and it goes without saying that extra money needs to be injected into these areas. Funding needs to be made available and this and could be found by increased Taxes, more borrowing or more cuts. None of which are ideal but it is essential that something is done, that is why it is imperative that a sensible Brexit is achieved, if we end up paying 60 to 100 billion pounds to leave the EU then this will only add to our national debt and it is us, the British public who will end up paying for it or our public service’s would be cut.
I voted & indeed campaigned to remain in the European Union but I am also a firm believer in democracy and as the majority of the people of the United Kingdom voted to leave the EU in last year’s referendum I have to accept that decision. What I am sick of though is all this talk of a hard Brexit or a soft Brexit or in some cases no Brexit. What we need now is a fair Brexit, it needs to be fair to the people of the United Kingdom, it needs to be fair to the foreign nationals who legally work and have made their home here. It needs to be equally fair to the British people working abroad. It also needs to be fair to the people of the European Union. I’m sure if we go into these discussions with fairness in mind we can achieve an amicable conclusion for all parties.
Immigration cannot end and it is foolish to believe it can, without foreign nationals the UK we would come to a standstill. What is important is if people come to the UK they must have a job first & will not receive benefits.
This is something I have never agreed with, surly if a candidate is elected to represent a constituency then they should do so, they shouldn’t be told what to or not to vote for in Parliament.
If they are told what to do by their party leader it becomes a dictatorship not a democracy. In the recent Brexit debate one of the political parties had a 3 line whip to get their members to vote in a certain way, this is wrong.
Politicians need to leave the behaviour of children in the playground and stand by their own principles & the wishes of their constituents. So I would campaign to stop Party whips & if politicians want to use whips then do so in their bedrooms or in fetish clubs not the Houses of Parliament.
As you can see from my ‘party whips’ segment it is important that Quirkiness is celebrated and a few ‘daft’ things I would campaign for, let's be honest I could campaign for a tax on Pasties but thanks to George Osborne that has already been done. So here goes.
I often see people walking down the road wearing band T-Shirts, you would consider that these are their favourite bands, in many cases this is not the case. Take Motorhead or Ramones T- Shirts, these are commonly worn. Don’t get me wrong I love Motorhead & the Ramones, but I fear that many people wearing these shirts often don’t even know what the band’s sound like.
I would campaign for people wearing band T-Shirts to own at least 4 of the albums before they wore a t-shirt bearing the crest of the band.
The ultimate offence though would be if they wore a T-Rex t-shirt without owning 4 Marc Bolan albums, I love T-Rex and failure to comply would mean they are put into solitary confinement for 1 day & forced to listen to Abba.
Dwarf means Dwarf
I took this up on behalf of my mate Captain Dan, Dan for many years has been a stalwart in The Circus of Horrors & spent around 6 weeks over Christmas as one of Snow Whites 7 Dwarfs in Panto. The situation now is that more & more Panto's are using kids wearing big heads instead of genuine dwarfs. This seems to be a mixture of political correctness gone wrong & the theatres saving money. Either way it's wrong, they are forcing small people who want to earn a living in their chosen profession out of work. It’s not Snow White & the 7 kids in big heads, its Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs' so let's stop misleading everyone and let's end this "Dwarf-ist" behaviour.
Again this has a musical theme, how often do you see clubs claiming to have 70’s nights but then when you go in they are playing 70s disco & the dreaded Abba. The 70s was a great time for rock music, whether the Glam of T-Rex, David Bowie, Alice Cooper, Slade, The Sweet, Rod Stewart, then the brilliant metal bands, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and not forgetting the ground-breaking Punk revolution with The Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Damned, Elvis Costello etc. So if a club advertises a 70’s night they must play real 70s music.
Halloween to become a Bank Holiday
Here's the latest thing I will be campaigning on.
In the Labour parties manifesto they planned to introduce more bank holidays but this would only lead to less annual work holidays so I'm not sure that that would work.
However making Halloween a blank holiday makes perfect sense. At the moment there are no bank holidays between August & Christmas so introducing a bank holiday in between & the fact that it coincides with a kid’s holiday is a further reason to campaign for it.
This is all besides the fact that it's becoming huge now as we are emulating the Americans & celebrating a brilliant Pagan festival. So let’s bring Halloween home & celebrate it with a bank holiday.
Vampires are an endangered species please give blood
To encourage everyone to give blood I would offer an incentive, anyone who gives blood would get a free ticket to see the Circus of Horrors
So there we have it, the beginning of my manifesto, I say beginning because I intend it to be a living manifesto and I am going to look at other party’s manifestos over the next few weeks and adopt the best of their policies to enter them into the list of things I would campaign on.
A sort of greatest hits of manifestos
Some might call it a ‘Coalition of Chaos’ others might think its bloody good sense.
In this World of Horrors your country needs a Ringmaster.
VOTE DOKTOR HAZE on JUNE 8th
Whether you intend to vote for me or not is entirely your democratic right but whatever your political leanings I urge you to vote, remember its part of our democratic right and gives you the say as to who YOU want to run this great country of ours.
If you are not registered to vote you need to do this urgently, if you are registered to vote but wish to appoint a proxy to vote on your behalf or you intend to do a postal vote this too needs dealing with urgently.
For more information please go to www.gov.uk/register-to-vote